Ordinary Ampersand

Navigating mediocrity one & at a time.

Day Thirty-Three Cont.

Guys, I just feel good. Ever since I started this thing, I’ve just felt better.

I’m less tired, I have more energy, I’ve got more confidence (as weird as that sounds), and most importantly my body just feels good.

It’s satisfying, that’s what. Even though sometimes the effort gets long and I get tired, overall everything is just falling into place. I’m so very, very pleased with myself.

Day Thirty-Three

It is -11 here today, if you just stick a thermometer outside.

If you factor in windchill, it is -35.

Holeeshiet!

Why being a girl isn't working out for me:

  • Body: Oh, guess what time of the month it is!
  • Me: Please, god, no--
  • Ovaries: ALL SYSTEMS GOOOOOOOO!!!
  • Brain: I quit. i quit. kittens and cupcakes and no one loves me. oh my god salty snacks i am furious
  • Me: Please, guys, calm down--
  • Face: TIME TO RUIN EVERYTHING YOU HAVE EVER LIKED ABOUT ME. I'M GROWING MOUNTAINS, BITCHES.
  • Brain: And now I'm ugly! shbdksdnksbn
  • Torso: Time to practice labor. cramp this bitch up. GO GO GO GO GO GO
  • Me: STOP IT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!
  • Stomach: lol clothes cant fit you anymore. you are bloated. you are now a balloooooooon!
  • Me: I hate you all
  • Brain: I KNOW EVERYONE HATES ME I AM SO DEPRESSED. we need to procreate.
  • Face: Lol, i'm not done yet.
  • Uterus: what did i ever do to deserve this?
  • Brain: you just wait uterus. they're going to make you hold a baby for like 9 months straight.
  • Uterus: You mother fuckers.
  • Torso: CONTRACT!
  • Me: I quit being female, I am now a llama.
  • Brain: Me gusta.
  • HAHAHAHAHALKSDHFA'LKSDJFA'LSDFA SJDFADSF'AOIEW.... !